Story of my life...its always the same. Its only ever had any long term potential one time. And that time comes back to me again and again. I wish it would change I wish it could be. But it won't and can't. How many times can you realize it won't work. I let myself fall over and over again sometimes its worse than before. But the ending is always the same. I'm left nurturing my broken spirit. Picking myself up off the ground, accepting that yet again I've fallen for a man who wanted no more than to bust a nut. No intentions of even knowing who I am. Realizing I'm a good person. Just seeing a girl and a warm place to put their penis. One time it happened though, I met a boy who I fell in love with who fell in love with me too. It was genuinely love at first sight. But so many stipulations prevent us from achieving what we could, some many boundaries keeping us from what I know could be great. Ill never know though. Something has to give. Anything.

Fragile a lil bit I can tell your digging me...

Im not in love...but I definitely love him. He really is amazing. I've never met someone so open and honest who has proven in a short time how much he genuinely cares for me. Connections like this aren't made everyday, week, or year. I just have to decide he's worth it, because I have to wait, I have to wait until we don't have to hide, until we can be open about our situation. Which will be soon, I hope it will all be worth it, if anything I know we are destined for greatness wherever or however we end up. I sincerely thank God for bringing us together. Let's just hope I can be mature enough not to fuck it up. Im working on being open and not keeping my feelings and emotions to myself and so far it's working and im happy.

Dont leave me out on a limb...

I know you. I know how you are what you do. The way you go about handling things, the shit that really pisses you off and what makes you happy. I thought I knew how you felt about me, but im questioning it. I know how I feel about you , I love you. In every sense, i can look into your eyes and feel as if nothing else matters but being right there, I can hear your voice and make any problem go away. Being wrapped in your arms makes me feel like im floating. No one else has ever made me feel this way. I thought it was because we have a connection. One that will never go away. But...how many people can you do this too at a time, granted alot of things can be one sided, but is it? You fill girls heads with all the things they want to.hear, you do the things they feel they dont deserve...is this the game you run? This has gone on far too long for no reason. We have never achieved anything. But all these other chicks come and go. Am I supposed to sit and watch them get what I want? Am I supposed to just wait for you to get bored and come back to me? I love you. I want to be with you. But I realize it will never happen. Im wasting my time even trying. When im with you everything is good. But I feel like Im apart of some game. Your shady. Be upfront in your shit and you gain more respect. Your a love slave. You look for people to fall in love with instead of letting it happen. Youll never see this though, Youll never know
..ill just continue to drive myself crazy with what ifs and maybes. Most importantly....I thought you loved me....you cant, or it wouldnt be like this.

Forever in Love, It's like we never skipped a beat. Life passes us by but feelings never changed.

Thank God I dodged a bullet.

What you do to me is crazy. My feelings for you are absurd. I long for that moment when I can again feel your embrace. Hearing your voice takes all the pain away. Knowing you love me is enough to forgive you for all youve done. I love you. It took a long time to realize that this shit might just be real and not just two being passing through eachothers life. Im still not sure of an outcome....because we can never sit and discuss our feelings. I know I miss you and we have some things to work out. I know we could never be together. Our priorities our different. As much as I want the better for you. I have to get my own shit together. Buy for both our sakes. We need to talk.

Grenade

I could throw grenade at myself for making one of the worst decisions of my life. And now trying to reverse it is becoming impossible. It really is. I cant do anything, go anywhere, talk to anyone without it being a problem. Possesive was 4 months ago this is a new level. I stopped seeing the point of this a long time ago. Especially when I know who I love and want to be with. But getting out of this shit is way easier to talk about then to do. I just wish I thought about this for real and not jumped on my first boat to freedom. I enjoy being on my own. But I have no privacy and I have more restrictions then before. I wish I could go back. But I cant. I dont even think I can get out of this.

Im not yo daddy

It really shouldnt of made me that happy.
But it did.
It all makes me happy.

will i make it,

i dunno??

is it even worth it?

i dont think so

time passes

it just gets harder

what the heck

Hello Darkness, my old friend

I've found love, real true, unconditional, yet unconventional love. Maybe the reason I havent found it before was because I was looking in the wrong places.

Save the Redhead

Pirates of the Carribiean is becoming like the land before time, And will Have a million sequels, prequels, quelquels and so on.
http://movies.yahoo.com/news/movies.ap.org/pirates-miley-disney-dishes-new-films-d23-ap

POTC 4? Really? Over it. Save the redhead.

I'm shaking in my boots for Alice in Wonderland though.
I (heart) Tim Burton! Especially Tim Burton and Johnny Depp.
How about Tim Burton direct POTC 4? hmmm.....

What are we on like Bring it on 5? Luckily none of the original cast came back to murder the classic cinematic masterpiece that is Bring it on.

Unexplained Phenomenon

This is hilarious because its so true. My life long dream is to work for Google. I almost always click on logo when its something, and today is the most confusing one ever, this was the first link on the search page.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/google/6142629/Mystery-of-Googles-unexplained-phenomenon-doodle.html

So I also came across this explaination:

On September 5th, 2009, Google tweeted out “1.12.12 25.15.21.18 15 1.18.5
2.5.12.15.14.7 20.15 21.19”, a cipher for “all your ’O’ are belong to us”. The
cipher was based on a straight alpha-numeric transliteration, wherein 1=a, 2=b,
3=c, etc., Google coincided this tweet with a www.google.com homepage graphic in
which a UFO is abducting the second ’O’ in Google.

Im convinced that Google did this for pure entertainment because they knew people would geuninely be perplexed...and we are.

Ill admit im intrigued but possibly for the wrong reasons is it worth it? should I take a chance? 10 whole year. thirteen?

Quote of the Day

A dancing foot and a praying knee don't grow on the same leg.

Ahem Mary Mary.

Lazy Sunday

Woke up in the early morning,
Need to meet my husband
Tryna get wifed up,
I'm wifey material.
Not baby mama.
He knows something about cars.

Unrhymed Iambic Pentameter

Today Today Today Today Today..
Walked a mile or two in old navy shoes
feared for my life
Was saved by an angel
This is why I love God.
the end.

Between

I love Wayne Brady and I love Sesame Street. Wayne Brady should be doing waaayy more things. He's got mad talent. He's extremely underated. He should do broadway...YES. Wayne Brady needs to do Broadway.He could be in Shrek! Yes and the so called "remake" thats not a remake of the Sister Act musical into a movie. YES. Lets cast wayne in this!! Yes. And in the Color Purple Musical Movie. Yes. Let's get him an audition.

People are like flies

Okay, so

WHEN WAS SOMEONE GOING TO TELL ME JOHN HUGHES DIED?
WHEN? WHEENENNNN????!!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!?
Well, I didnt really know he was alive...anyways he was only 59.

R.I.P.

Speaking of R.I.P
I was in the portrait museum the other day looking at this creepy painting of this really old wrinkly lady and some kids with downs syndrome, apparently the old lady created the Special Olympics. I'm watching the news and find out she just died. Weird.

Ay yo people, stop dying.

Foolish

Am I more upset that sir mix-a-lot participated? Or that this was made period? Im torn.

I want to work for Google

I decided to write blogs on the random things I google.

This blog was almost on digital disease, like herpes for your phone, but that got waaaayyy too intense.

We must keep text messaging safe from all the people minding their business...support the cause!

http://www.sextingisstupid.com/

Really?

Things you could be doing with your time instead of trying to discourage something thats not even bad..

World Peace
Ending Poverty

Providing clean water to under privledged children, actually people in general

Improving schools

Paying for me to go to school.

Of course the "Cause" has a facebook...I mean who doesn't?

And because this is such an important issue, make sure you dont forward things like:

Girls r like website domain namez......da ones i like r already taken

I get so emotional when u r not around. I think the emotion is called happiness. (haha)

I just wanted to find out when Texting was invented, and I opened u Pandora's Box...

http://www.netlingo.com/acronyms.php

Some of these are mighty ridiculous...

TMTOWTDI- There's More Than One Way To Do It

Now your just making them up, because their is no way anyone would know what that combination of letters mean...

UCWAP- Up a Creek Without A Paddle

Okay...

Ang Chuang holds the record for fastest text, he did a whole sentence in 42.36 seconds...Now when they say sentence...are we talking Jesus wept, or an actual sentence.

I probably could beat that.

Brady James holds the record for sending the most texts in a month...217,541....who? I don't and will never have that much to say.

Texting only came about in 1993....really? If you sit and think about the things that werent around when you were little, it makes you feel old.

For example there wasnt a DVD until 1995...

There wasnt even a google until 1998

I have a slight obsession with google logos because I want that to be my job when I get older.. by older I mean when I finally graudate.

But that is a whole different story.