Between the Lions

I'm not happy anymore. I have no motivation to do anything, go to school, work, wake up, watch tv, eat. Its like I serve no purpose. I almost forgot I could be happy until I went to Florida. I havent been happy since I left Florida, almost a year ago. That is due to multiple things, I didnt live with my parents, I could do what I wanted. Now that im 21, I feel like im doing nothing with my life, I go to school and work, but what am I really accomplishing? Its like my life has hit pause, everything's so damn repetitive, there is no variety, everyday is the same, all my friends live in different states, im the only one stuck here with no life goals. I've given up on so much it scares me. I am currently thinking about moving to Florida, but will I be moving for the right reasons? Because its real life, its not being a CP anymore. I know that the more I think about it, the more excuses I can come up with, I need to just do it. But again I have no motivation.

Periods are gay. Period.

I think I may literally drive myself crazy worrying about being clingy. I'm crying every two seconds like a pyschopath, and my head is aching, I have no motivation to do anything. I literally dont want to get up out of the bed anymore. Now I approach everything with an I dont feel like it mentality. And apparently im not getting fired. I have to ability to move to Florida when i'm good and ready. Im not done being a child yet. I know its because im on my period, but some of these feelings are also valid, ive been feeling them long before now. I just want them to go away. Will someone please give me the strength. Or help me rip out my ovaries?

Birthdays were the best days

I love him, a good genuine platonic friendship love. We hadnt seen each other in 8 months, but it was like we were still in Disney living 2 buildings from eachother. Im happy that we got to spend as much time together as we did, because we cant see eachother that often our time is valuable. No matter how many times I go to Florida and come back saying bye to him has never gotten any easier. It still hurts it still makes me cry, I still am left to wonder when we can hang out again. As i get older i'm faced with new situations, these long distance friendships are hard. He told me I was his "female" best friend lol. As long as I always remain important enough to have a title I dont care. This sucks. But I can say I have no regrets, he knows I love him, and he's a good friend to me, just as much as I know he loves me and values our friendship. I do think we should probably talk more often but I dont really like talking on the phone *lie* we both have to work on that. I've never had to work hard to keep a friend, its worth it though.

Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday...

It's my birthday yay! Lol. No real plans. Just hanging out with my best friends. I'[m super happy I got what I wanted for my birthday. Just to hang out with BF. So what more could I ask for? Sure im broke, but whats it matter? So my latest cell phone, lived a short yet productive life. Definately was put to use. Oh well, my phones just like to leave me hanging in times of need.

You can find me in the club....

Chilling in this 81 degree weather with my BF and my BFF. Flight was good.

I've been playing myslef to say that i've got time to do things.
But I dont.

2 dayssssssssssss.

Rabbit, Rabbit

I once heard on Nickelodeon that if you said Rabbit Rabbit on the first of each month it will bring you good luck. That was years ago, I dunno why i still remember that. I'd like to take the time to give a shout-out to my mans Bigsmoove, celebrating that two-one. Holla. The countdown has officially begun...6 mother-F******, (freaking) days until my birthday. hoe. 4 days until Florida....reckless. I wasnt that excited about it before, but maybe because I felt like this week would never get here or i'd be in jail because of my job. So I talked to BF yesterday, I told him (again) I was going to be in Florida, he seemed excited, which makes me excited, so i'm happy. The only trick to not let work get me down until then, i'm keeping high spirits.
She's your queeeeennnn toooo beeeeee....