Walking down the street with a soda can in my hand realize and understand i'm little fizz, ay yo fizz, fizz check out yo girl over there. Chilling with the Apple Grove honies minus Carmen who live across the world. Doing recession proof activities, playing the we singing Deborah Cox ft R.L. We cant be friends, good song, story of my whole entire high school life, or Heather Headley, I wish I wasnt, Soundtrack to me and FL's "relationship" which is technically not even that. I do love him though, sadly enough, well acutally I dont regret it. ,but he was and still is maaaaahhhh first love and my only one....long as I live you will be mahhh.....lol.

Facebook gives all the Biz

Ookkaaay....so whatever was going on in best friends life has been bothering me for awhile (three days)...lol. And just when I decided that I would let it go, actually I just dont want to call him, no reason...its just been awhile(months like shit) So as if to baste (in honor of thanksgiving) the issue, he writes this facebook status about someone taking his money and him having the guys social and address and thangs....could he be referring to his roomate? Or who? Not likely, this story is too much for me not to know the details. But if he's really heated about it, can I really call him and ask? I definately dont want him to be mad at me. But then again I keep telling myself the reason why I havent called him is because I dont want to wrap him up with the small details of my like (Starbucks). Ugh, I'm going to have to call him arent I?

So out of the loop...

All this time I couldve been bagging, actually not even bagging. But rigning groceries for the mexicans at Aldi, for 2 dollars more that what I make now. And I get to sit down, and its less than a mile away instead of a 30 minute drive, best believe im putting in my application.

P.S.

I F****** hate my job, it makes me miserable and stresses me out. Going to work puts me in a state of crucial depression, that place is somewhere I dont think I can stand to there much longer.

whaaaa?

pack your own parachute

Derived from the sacred motto of parachutists, meaning to put your condom on yourself.

Whatever you do, pack your own parachute. She's been around with a vengeance.

Left a good job in the ci-tay...

Do I really even care? Or is it just because I feel like he shouldve told me. In my mind, I'm like if he can dispose of this person whom he's known for longer than me. THE SCOOP: BF and his roomie apparently had a falling out. Which honestly bewilders me that happened. I personally dont know the backstory and it wasnt really the roomies place to tell me, but this all went down a month ago. Maybe if BF wasnt always so damn busy, he could pick up the phone and tell me. Should I just cut my losses, because I honestly look forward to the day that I can see him again but if there isnt any point I might as well cut it off now. But that could just be me acting like a female again, tripping about things that arent really happening. I just hope that we havent talked in such a long time that there wont be a connection anymore.

On a lighter note:
I need to quit my job before I literally go insane.
Like really.

I'm ready for the next phase to happen, I just dont know how to grasp it.

I know that Florida will be a good place for me to spread my wings. I just have to get there.

Ain't no shame cuz I gotta get mine...

SO! In an effort to remove my whole brain from being consumed with thinking about BF, trying so hard to delete or at least put my extreme level of missing him into the back of my head, I slipped. I called Throwback aka Tuxedo Mask for Lilo's sake. And after an infinite number of hours of rapping me up about what he's doing right now. I let myself allow him back in and now....im pretty sure he just left, and i'm further lost for words, and dont want to share anymore details. Just to stay my thoughts were removed, and now there back mangled with other complicated ones. And I dont understand. I DONT UNDERSTAND!!!

Im such a lame. Ugh this is like me and Marcus only I wanted to give him the goods. Recline the futon until it goes no further. im such a female.

Im lunchin really hard right now, because I dont want the goods, I just want my friend. Never loved this hard before. Why cant I just call him?

Pt 2: Im feening for a hug from BF. They mean so much to me, I feel mad protected. ..I hope your getting ready girl and dont forget the wine.....

Just realized the gaping wound on my boob is a burn. And HOW pray tell do you get a second degree burn on your breast? Starbucks = boob burn