I'll be your boyfriend til the song goes off

Really? I thought I was done with you? Why is it that out of all the people in this world you are the only one whom I allowed to play me multiple times. My spirit is weakening, yet somehow everytime i reach the level of no return you resurface its like you always know when to call or text. Ugh, I hate you so much but at the same time our friendship is hard to walk away from.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kY4W1b8WurU

This place looks hip...

Son, what do I want? And why can't I make up my mind? Why can't I just give it a chance to determine if i really honestly want to. Because I think about him, but why does he gotta be such a punk? Man up, son!

Deoderant costs 4 whole dollars!

Okay, so upon seeing b-more again, I realized that I really dont want him. He's cool to chill with and whatever, but I dont want to do anything more than that,its like he is always gonna be my fallback joint and I cant do that to him. But I know he has feelings so how we be cool without nothing more? In comparison with the other "Obama" I was kinda liking at first, but that story is too long to even embark upon a crush, yes, embark. I realized that i'd rather be around the other dude more. So what do I do, cuz i need a man. But can I honestly settle? What do I do when my mind wanders? As it tends to do.

The CHRONIC wha? -cles of Narnia!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhwbxEfy7fg

why is Justin Timberlake so daggone funny?
When I saw this for the first time, Melvin and Maya were passed out on my couch, and im rolling around the living room, doing nothing, at all.

Every good conversation starts with "Hello"

Son, why is D. Floyd performing at the go-go awards why didnt I know this nigga was doing big things before I graduated. Wouldve been at all the parties like shit...

Why am I tripping like im sprung or something? How on earth can you be sprung off of one meeting? Impossible.

Apparently, I have hours now, so im not "ghetto fired"

Do people be making this shit up off the top of their heads?

Salad Shooter

Salad Shooter- A vegetarian who has bad diarrhea.
I shouldnt have eaten that 2 month old asparagus, uhhhhhhh........

I am doing the absolute most listening to Beyonce as Etta James, these tracks are hotter than Beyonce as Beyonce.

Seriously, Why am I tripping so hard? I think back to our first meeting and feelings that were shared, so its not like its out of the blue or anything, but I mean, I really hope something good comes of this, because this one I cant handle getting hurt over.

What the fuck am I? 12?

I AM THE MANAGER!

Soncier works next to me he is tight for real look him up in itunes. Google that nigga.

Life is a viscious cycle...

My Aunt died. We arent really shocked because she has been mad sick, since forever. But I mean its still family. I'm mostly worried about my Grandma, thats her younger sister. Once you reach your 80's you dont even think about your younger siblings dying before you. But thats life i guess. So what can you do, but grow for the situation, take your time to mourn and contiue on. More later....

In a matter of hours my life has withered

Your first name of Nellie has made you a friendly, approachable, and generous person.
Generally you are good-natured, though at times you can be blunt and sarcastic.
As you are naturally talkative, you find it easy to meet and make friends with many people.
This name inclines you to be sympathetic and generous to those in difficult or unfortunate circumstances.
You can be firm, positive, and independent in your own ideas and in reaching your own decisions, yet when it comes to taking action or following things through to completion, you often need encouragement.
You respond quickly to kind words or any appreciation shown you.
There are artistic, creative abilities in this name that you could express through music or singing, or, in a practical way, through sewing or interior decorating
Although the name Nellie creates the urge to be creative and original, we point out that is causes frustration through a scattered and emotional nature.
This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the liver, bloodstream, and in tension or accidents to the head.


Today at my job, I was pretty much told, "we have no reason to fire you, but we also can't afford to keep you" Which pretty much means that the hours of hours I work arent even worth it, factoring in the gas I use to get to work, and ,maitenance and all that Jazz, it will cost me more to get to work then I will be making. And I dont even want to start on the whole transfer situation, its like everyone has something to hide, why cant you just tell the truth, stop bs-ing. But then again what can I do, youre gonna get paid regardless of if you work or not, so what do you really care, but dont lie to my face, be an adult. Im just so mad, but my employment was up in the air and it was like no one wanted to take the time to explain to me what happened. I cant.... this definately is worth less then what im being paid or the hours im working. I dont know how much more I can take...of anything, I really dont, it has never really been this bad. Im so lost, I wish it could be better right now, but all I can do is cry because I know its as good as it gets. And my got dang phone is broken and I cant call B-more, even though now I have all this free time and I cant even meet up with me, because I cant call him, I work ONE day next week, kill me, shoot me, or whatever i'll do it myself. I really want to talk to him, but I cant, I cant talk to anyone, which leaves me to wallow in my sorrows alone, which is definately going to produce some negative thoughts.

Just took my little bit of happiness from B-more being back in my life and sit it ablaze. I really was so happy about it, but I cant make miracles, and I cant look to him as my sole source of happiness.

I am....

I dont want this to be a long term booty call.

I really like him for who he is, and I think superficial things might stand in the way.

I know this will actually progress into something and im scared, there I said it, I'm scared.

I dont know how to do the whole dating thing.

Trying to destroy something that doesnt exist. yet.

In the end I will be responsible for my failure.

I need him to also not be stubborn.

Why cant he be the man, and step up and get what he wants.

Or maybe he doesnt want it.

*EDIT*

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*edit*

My boob burn has officially healed. Holla!

You smiled and then the spell was cast...

I fuck with Etta James hard, even harder with Beyonce's versions http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cwH1v618GY
man this song, i'm adding to my list of songs that I cant live without:

• Incomplete by Sisqo- You on the bed negro?
• All my Life K-Ci and Jojo
• Dangerouslyin love-Beyonce

Dude, im still tripping real hard, because as the days progress, I realized that I used to fuck with B-more in real life. Back in the day I genuinely had feelings for me. But you know how in todays climate a black man who is worth your time is hard to find. Im beginning to agree with Kandice, black men dont have any culture. But am I allowed to like him in real life after one instance? Because I think I might, which is so typical girl and im not typical girl. Oh yeah by the way, I'm done with BF, because he doesnt ever have anytime for me, I mean, he isnt rude about it, but....I cant keep getting my feelings hurt for trying to keep up with you. I deleted his number out of my phone, like im 12, and you know im heated because I really want to call him, but I am not prepared to carry on a friendship like this, it just isnt natural, granted I didnt try my hardest, because I know he's kinda a jerk sometimes, right...a jerk. But the effort I did make, wasnt reciprocated, and friendships are two-sided, I still love him to death, which will probably result in me just reverting back to my old ways if he ever called me, or texted me, which I kinda know he will, but not as soon as I would like.

But as of right now, im done.

My mind is a myriad of emotions right now

My freaking job is a pot, yes a whole pot, or crap.

I cant bring myself to trust myself

-that shit was deep son.

I think I may actually be insane, because my life might actually start turning around, if i could just trust.

I dunno, updates, as the days unfold.

No more creep teacher, i might miss his attention

NOT.....

"I found a dream that i can speak too, a dream that i
can call my own."

-Etta James

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0Ee2KcD8XQ

this n-word is crazy! im dying laughing. I want to meet him.

Im tryna wife the roller

I'm not really one to watch reality shows, or t.v. period (unless its Lincoln Heights). But there is something about Real Chance at Love thats causes me to watch more than one episode a week. And Real World: Hollywood, that was good too. Lol. I wonder if I can get that on DVD. Hmmmm... man this weekend was craaazzzzyyyyy! See thats what happens when your job drives you crazy, you gotta go somewhere and let loose. I seriously have to gain back control of my life, and get a new job, and if I cant get a new job then im demoting myself because this situation is getting out of control, its just mentally draining and I cant take it anymore, I dont make any money because I never go to work, because it makes me cry and want to shoot myself in the head. Man....this weekend, lol. Got a new crush, realized some things about the past. We need to do that again Lisa! Lol. Tomorrow! Oh man, I can almost tolerate going to work tomorrow.

You gotta a 10-piece dont be stingaaayy

Aside from my apparent ho-like actions this weekend.....(shhhhh). I met up with a dude I havent seen for a minute. We were talking for awhile, but that ended because it was just un-realistic, he was in b-more and i'm basically in d.c. Matter of fact lets call him B-more. So me and Lisa were at his house chillin today, and I knew he wasnt sure of what to do around me. He wasnt sure if he could speak like he knew me, or act brand new (not in a stank way). But after a hour or so he warmed back up. I know this sounds so incredibly corny, but once we could look each other in the face, everything was cool. Even though this was 2 years ago, (I know right), I was thinking about how I really kinda like this guy, he cool and sweet, and just a good person. My only apprehension is that I think B-more cant get the fuck outta b-more. I cant stand to think that anyone thinks they cant do better, because of a couple or many setbacks, aka the recession, but off some real shit, if he could get out of that mentality that anything can't hold him back, then I honestly think we could have a future. Just like 2 years ago, he still makes me smile. Like a true happy smile. But, is a "booty call
" really worth driving up to b-more. Because this "obama" doesnt have a car, and I hate to drive. I dunno, im just kinda baffled that after 2 years, some feelings i thought were even off the serious tip, are still there.

Mmm Edamame! Eda-Whaaaa

Man, I am weak. Mad me want to sit in the bed and smoke a cigar and shit. Last night was so reckless, I'm almost ashamed to speak of it, but it was so good! I kinda think that after all the shit I have to go through at work, man, i'm free of all stress. Hopefully, I can get someone to loosen me up again tonight. It's funny because Roscoe (stole it from Lilo) always asks Lilo why she doesnt bring any "friends" around. You know friends who you can fuck around with. Well to Jalisa's male friends, I am that friend. I feel like such a whore, well not really, but I feel like I should. We in the recession, better get in where you fit in. Had that "Obama" skipping and singing and thangs, got that magic shit. Holla, back to my cigar.

Son, work has been fucking with me hard lately. But all I can say is that shit was good, thats what the fuck is up, I needed that to calm my ass.

Coons

Mcdonalds commericals are out of control, I really hope there isnt a black guy insulting us this. Actually that man is the CEO of Mcdonalds I bet you his bank account could end to recession. Since all the black people, only the black people, eat McDonalds.

http://www.illegal-art.org/video/mcdonalds/doubledutch.mp4

Man, what?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpCqa0Rx0Yk, its so funny, I cant, I shall falter to the stereotype.

The recession is holding me back

This is just crazy. What type of %^&* is up with this? How are you going to tell me i've been transfered but the other store manager doesnt jnow anything about it. But yet you went ahead and took me off the schedule, and since i know you had to cut hours anyway, its a chance I wont be put on it. What the fuck? And then I couldnt even get 6 of the 18 dollar parking fee? I came to help you out, so you wouldnt have to work one hundred hours. But fuuucccckkkk that. What type of bullshit, I definately dont get paid 1/4 of what I deserve, the fuck. Too bad we in a recession and I cant quit, cuz how will I heal my wounds with shopping then? I'm off until Wednesday. Tomorrow is Jalisa's birthday, and I plan to act a hot fool, like that "hot fool" like hot mess, but add some foolishness. Biggest crock of bullshit i've ever heard. Fuckity Fuck fuck. Damn. And come to find out, yall bitchasses need me until the end of January, because you ass is going ot South America and another manager will be out for 6 weeks, who the fuck is gonna work then? 2 managers, have fun with that, cuz I'm gonna transfer, and whatcho gonna do then? Too late hoe.

We are in a recession..

When will I stop being lazy and get on my grind, i'm really trying to get the &^%$ outta PG, but going to Old Navy everyday will not get me there. Why cant I stop shopping? ugh.

Shit is true, Nigger is the most offensive, so why cant I stop saying it?

I'm not really sure if this is meant to be offensive or what...I know the picture makes me itch.

http://chickenwings.ytmnd.com/