Pirates of the Carribiean is becoming like the land before time, And will Have a million sequels, prequels, quelquels and so on.
http://movies.yahoo.com/news/movies.ap.org/pirates-miley-disney-dishes-new-films-d23-ap
POTC 4? Really? Over it. Save the redhead.
I'm shaking in my boots for Alice in Wonderland though.
I (heart) Tim Burton! Especially Tim Burton and Johnny Depp.
How about Tim Burton direct POTC 4? hmmm.....
What are we on like Bring it on 5? Luckily none of the original cast came back to murder the classic cinematic masterpiece that is Bring it on.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Save the Redhead
Posted by Nel at 8:34 PM 0 comments
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Unexplained Phenomenon
This is hilarious because its so true. My life long dream is to work for Google. I almost always click on logo when its something, and today is the most confusing one ever, this was the first link on the search page.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/google/6142629/Mystery-of-Googles-unexplained-phenomenon-doodle.html
So I also came across this explaination:
On September 5th, 2009, Google tweeted out “1.12.12 25.15.21.18 15 1.18.5
2.5.12.15.14.7 20.15 21.19”, a cipher for “all your ’O’ are belong to us”. The
cipher was based on a straight alpha-numeric transliteration, wherein 1=a, 2=b,
3=c, etc., Google coincided this tweet with a www.google.com homepage graphic in
which a UFO is abducting the second ’O’ in Google.
Im convinced that Google did this for pure entertainment because they knew people would geuninely be perplexed...and we are.
Posted by Nel at 4:36 PM 1 comments
Friday, August 28, 2009
Ill admit im intrigued but possibly for the wrong reasons is it worth it? should I take a chance? 10 whole year. thirteen?
Posted by Nel at 8:46 PM 0 comments
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Quote of the Day
A dancing foot and a praying knee don't grow on the same leg.
Ahem Mary Mary.
Posted by Nel at 9:39 PM 0 comments
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Lazy Sunday
Woke up in the early morning,
Need to meet my husband
Tryna get wifed up,
I'm wifey material.
Not baby mama.
He knows something about cars.
Posted by Nel at 1:51 PM 0 comments
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Unrhymed Iambic Pentameter
Today Today Today Today Today..
Walked a mile or two in old navy shoes
feared for my life
Was saved by an angel
This is why I love God.
the end.
Posted by Nel at 1:40 AM 0 comments
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Between
I love Wayne Brady and I love Sesame Street. Wayne Brady should be doing waaayy more things. He's got mad talent. He's extremely underated. He should do broadway...YES. Wayne Brady needs to do Broadway.He could be in Shrek! Yes and the so called "remake" thats not a remake of the Sister Act musical into a movie. YES. Lets cast wayne in this!! Yes. And in the Color Purple Musical Movie. Yes. Let's get him an audition.
Posted by Nel at 6:15 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
People are like flies
Okay, so
WHEN WAS SOMEONE GOING TO TELL ME JOHN HUGHES DIED?
WHEN? WHEENENNNN????!!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!?
Well, I didnt really know he was alive...anyways he was only 59.
R.I.P.
Speaking of R.I.P
I was in the portrait museum the other day looking at this creepy painting of this really old wrinkly lady and some kids with downs syndrome, apparently the old lady created the Special Olympics. I'm watching the news and find out she just died. Weird.
Ay yo people, stop dying.
Posted by Nel at 7:54 PM 0 comments
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Foolish
Am I more upset that sir mix-a-lot participated? Or that this was made period? Im torn.
Posted by Nel at 8:17 PM 0 comments
Friday, July 31, 2009
I want to work for Google

Ending Poverty

For example there wasnt a DVD until 1995...

Posted by Nel at 3:56 PM 0 comments
Thursday, July 30, 2009
You fail VH1.com
I got so excited when I found out I cold watch episodes of Pop Up Video online, until I clicked on the link. boo.
I happen to be in LOVE with the Jackson 5 movie, I watch it every opportunity I can, despite it being like 6 hours long. With all the recent MJ activity I wondered why Jason Weaver and the guy who played older MJ havent come out and said anything, I know they had to have met Michael. Well Wylie Draper died in 1993, A year after the miniseries was made. I felt like I mightve known that. But this man needs an oscar.
People who deserve an Oscar:
Whoopi Goldberg as Celie in The Color Purple ( Hello? Really? I will make you one)
Oprah as Sophia she gets a best supporting actress, do people realize that Oprah got skills? smh.
Jamal Woodard as Biggie, while the movie may have left out alot of things, my boo Jamal enbodied Biggie, his performance was amazing.
Suzanne de Passe will be rich for the rest of her life, and into her families life...she made Lady Sings the Blues, Jackson 5 Movie, The Last Dragon, Sister, Sister, Smart Guy, The Wiz, The Temptations. Girl.
Hahaha They offered David Allen Grier the role of Joe Jackson....
I just watched the whole pop up video of "You Rock My World"
Posted by Nel at 5:23 PM 0 comments
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Fish dont fry in the kitchen...
This is a sassy picture! Nice Jacket.
Remember when everyone got Jet Magazine? I used to think it came like the Newspaper.
So im STILL listening to only Micheal Jackson, and im STILL not sick of it.
My job has really started to irritate me. Seriously. The customers come in and I cringe. They bother me with their incompotence...incompatence? I dunno, dont teach us how to spell in montessori.
Anyways, It's like hey loose all common sense, and on top of that, they dont seem to care that they waited in line for 20 minutes, so they take 20 more minutes to decide what they want, "hold on, let me call Dan and see what he wanted...my husband has the money and he's in the bathroom....what do you suggest....i'd like 22 breakfast sandwhiches...where are my sandwhiches? (in the oven....you wanted them heated right? that takes time)
I'm ready to move, it's time to take on that responsibility, it's like my parents are allowing me to be lazy, when there is so much more I could be doing. Plus, I know they'll have my back ultimately.
My parents dont bother me about anything, which kinda concerns me, do they not expect anything more from me? Or am I actually doing enough? I just dont feel like im doing anything.
Omg, I saw a picture of Micheal Jackson in the Globe, on Wendy Williams show, the scariest thing ever, it was him with no makeup and no hair.
In other news, apparently Barack Obama is gay, Micheal Jackson had an affair and has a secret son...
Which doesnt matter because in the end, he obviously knew him, and is grieving...can you imaging loosing a family member and having to be reminded of it everywhere you turn?
Posted by Nel at 2:25 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Need a new whip, B.
On the road to 100 blogs....
So, how do I spark up the conversation with my parents that i'm moving to a new state?
Who knows. I have to do it. Stop being lazy and move already. Nothing really is holding me back.
Except the whole car thing.
But BF does it and he has no car. He takes 2 buses to work everyday.
I had a dream that I was at work and we were about to close, and I was trying to get people out. But no one would leave. No matter how many times I locked the door. The people just kept coming in. Strange I know.
And even in my dream I was stressed out.
Posted by Nel at 5:05 PM 1 comments
Monday, July 13, 2009
FAIL. Robbery Edition
I'm at the register ringing people up, about an hour before close, when a man approaches my register. He looks no different than the other scraggly men who come in here and ask for free cups of water all the time. He comes to the register lays down a note that says: This is a robbery. Put all the money in the registers and safe in the bag. Dont be a hero. (mad bold right, dont be a hero?) I'm like really? okay. I cant open the register. He's just like open the register. We say this like 3 or 4 times. Then i'm like okay he wont go away. Show me your gun. Just cooperate. Show me. Just open the register. I cant just give you the money, your on camera, i need to see a weapon. Just give me the money. There are still people in the store, unaware of this whole situation . You want me to open the safe? Yes. I go to the safe and put in the duress code. Go back to the register and take the money out, im holding it in my hand like a waiter holds a tray. Then G comes over and is like, what is going on? She looks at the note takes the money and shoves it back in the drawer. At which point attention is being drawn to the situation and the man leaves. She said the same thing I said, show me a gun. I'm not tryna be a hero, im just not retarded. So then the alarm people call and I tell them someone tried to rob us, and they dispatch the police, alot of them showed up. There nice, everyone keeps asking am I okay. I'm fine, at first I was a little tense because that situation could've went in so many different situations. The detective who came, was just telling me how smart we were because banks have been robbed off of less.
I dont really know what made me react like that. But i'm glad I did. I do take pride in being a person who isnt scared of alot of things.
Picked the wrong store sir. you FAIL.
Posted by Nel at 8:30 PM 0 comments
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Picking Cotton


Avirex? Well it was like 15 years ago, so i GUESS....
Its not that the court system doesnt make mistakes and im not saying they dont, i'm made about the way they went about presenting this.
Posted by Nel at 8:08 PM 1 comments
Friday, July 10, 2009
Oh Mickey you so fine!
Posted by Nel at 9:57 AM 0 comments
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Happy 30th Birthday...

Posted by Nel at 5:29 PM 0 comments
Friday, July 3, 2009
Why is Diana dirty? Does that mean she's a hoe?
Another day has gone, I'm still all alone, How could this be,
You're not
here with me, You never said goodbye, Someone tell me why,
Did you have to go,
And leave my world so cold
Its been a week since MJ died, it's still kinda sad. All i've been listening to lately is his music, its pretty amazing.
Hold on...
I did NOT know that Kenny Ortega was choreographing MJ's tour. The same Kenny Ortega who is behind all three High School Musicals. He has got to be loaded. He got to be talented, MJ wouldnt of put up with anything less. I love HSM. 2 and 3 not so much, music wasnt as good. But the first one was A-mazing.
So, there is kinda this dude who's been tryna talk to me, I can't figure out if he lives in the shelter or what, I dont think so, he has a cell phone and wears different clothes everyday and doesnt smell (like ass). Plus he is mad attractive.
Chillin with the grown and sexy co-workers tomorrow, aka the over 21 crowd.
Posted by Nel at 2:20 PM 0 comments
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Fail. Bet Award Edition

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Posted by Nel at 12:58 PM 0 comments
Friday, June 26, 2009
R.I.P. MJ
Hey pretty baby with the High heels on...You give me fever Like Ive never, ever known Youre just a product of Loveliness I like the groove of Your
walk, your talk your dress...

Thriller, Remember the Times, Bad, Billie Jean, Smooth Criminal, Rockin Robin....
The Way you make me feel, is my s(hit).
I've never seen or heard of this.
Posted by Nel at 7:07 PM 0 comments
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Should I give up?
Or should I just keep chasing pavements? Even if it leads nowhere?
I've made up my mind, don't need to think it over If I'm wrong I am right, don't need to look no further This ain't lust, I know this is love But if I tell the world, I'll never say enough' Cause it was not said to you And that's exactly what I need to do if I'd end up with you.
Hahah I remember when Carmen and Lin showed me this and said I was Charlie...
Which will be worse? Until I figure that out.
Posted by Nel at 8:33 PM 1 comments
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
I'm lethal like Danny Glover
iI like to start by saying, Jalisa this is the first time I read your blogger URL and im currenly dying of laughter.
Where do I begin,
Apparently I'm doing well at work, I do my job but it costs me my sanity. It seems as though working there doesnt bother me but it does. It gets under my skin all the way into the nervous system. We are all overworked, due to no staff and are one of the busiest stores in our region. The people that come in there look down on us, the only see the poor black people making there coffee. Some people are just downright rude and swear were not gonna say anything to them at the risk of losing our jobs.
Dont disrespect me.
I dont trust him,. Point blank. How many people do I really actually trust anyway. But I really dont. I dont know if its because I dont see him all the time or talk to him, but something just isnt sitting right with me. I dont think he's someone who would play me. But people will always suprise you. I know he cares, alot. But what is it? something is not right. Is it because i'm not really feeling him. No I have feelings, not ones that are deeply set but somethings there. It kinda seems like he doesnt care unless im with him. Talking on the phone is trash. lol. And I think he knows that because he never stays on the phone. But he takes the time to let me know that he's made if I don't call or text him, but why wait? Don't take it personal, but i'm an extremely strange person and I have to ease my personality on people, its alot to take in at one time.
But you took it upon yourself to let me know, I was it for you and you want a relationship and call you my man.
My life is too disorganized to be involved in anything right now. I have no idea where i'm going.
Why do people make it so easy to creep? Set your facbooks and myspaces to private! Gosh.
Seventh Grade moment:
(A large percentage of the people who write on his myspace page are girls, and of course I look at their page, man im an ultra creep. Its not that its a big deal, but I naturally assumed I was the only one he was calling beautiful on a regular basis.)
Truthfully I really just dont want to get played.
But if were tryna make it work this time and are both willing to give it a chance it has to mean something right? I mean we keep doing this back and forth.
This is normally the point in which I delete his number and never talk to him again.
Mentally I dont think i'm capable of handling this.
Posted by Nel at 6:44 PM 0 comments
Labels: I need therapy
Monday, May 18, 2009
Third Times a Charm
The belief that the third time something is attempted is more likely to succeed
than the previous two attempts. It is also used as a good luck charm - spoken
just before trying something for the third time.
What can I even say? I just wish I had the time, but I dont. I feel so sure about it this time. But with me moving so soon, whats the point. Its hard to determine the line between lust and love. But I know. This back and forth, now were on time number 3. What does that mean? Why is it that you keep coming back into my life? And each time we fall for eachother all over again. This time was pretty drastic though. I didnt think anything of it until he looked into my eyes and said all the right things. But those are only words. If this had happened anytime sooner, I wouldnt be concerned. But there is no time, only oppurtunity to make the best of the time we have, but I need him to realize that time is so short.
With that being said, after leaving Florida this weekend I realized how much me and BF relationship has evolved. In the beginning it was just about how much we didnt talk and what we didnt do, but after my birthday trip when I truly realized how much I love him, I feel so secure in our friendship. I can tell him everything, I dont but I know I can and thats what matters. Whenever we are together we never skip a beat. We have truly reached a level 0f best friends.
Posted by Nel at 8:18 PM 0 comments
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Stop it...
Life for some time now has been somewhat depressing and you feel 'under the weather'. You are looking for a means by which you can escape from all the pressures of everyday life. But you must remember that the 'Past does not equal 'Tomorrow'. You are seeking a way to escape from all the trials and tribulations that oppress you at this time, but at least you haven't given up - if one pattern of behaviour doesn't seem to work then you'll change it for another.
You are a leader in every sense of the word. You know where you are going and you know what you need to do in order to get there. You exercise an inherent initiative in overcoming obstacles and difficulties. You either hold, or wish to achieve, a position of authority by means of which full control can be exerted over events.
It's the time of year that you are apt to become extremely restless and emotionally withdrawn. This is preventing you from becoming deeply involved with a person or persons within your sphere of influence. If you are willing to 'let go' and release your inhibitions you will find that a great deal of physical satisfaction will result, far more than perhaps you even believed you were capable of.
Whatever you strive to do, something always seems to be holding you back. There is no subterfuge in you. You are a clear thinker and all you demand from life, in a relationship, is a partner whom you can trust and with whom you can, together, develop a foundation of trust based on understanding. You are your own person and you demand freedom of thought to follow your own convictions. You have no interest in 'two-timing' and all you seek is sincerity and 'straight-dealing'.
You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer - MOVE!
Posted by Nel at 5:38 PM 0 comments
This is right for no reason at all
Name: Arnell
Date: 5/3/2009
Colorgenics Number: 51423607
You are longing for some love and affection at this time - not that you have been deprived of tender loving care - but there are times when everyone needs to try something new or to go 'somewhere' else to perhaps experience that little extra 'understanding'.
In the past there have been - and maybe there still are - many things that you have had to do without. You have now decided to set your sights on a position or situation that could give you greater prestige and which will afford you considerable self esteem.
You are confined and trapped in a distressing or uncomfortable situation and seeking some way out. Whatever you seem to do to resolve the problem hasn't worked out. Fortunately you are able to gain some aspect of relief from someone close to you.
You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.
You don't like conflict and you endeavour to avoid criticism. You want to do your own thing and to be able to decide what is right for you. You have considerable personable charm - and this is used with considerable effect on those that keep your company.
Posted by Nel at 5:35 PM 1 comments
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
I knew it would come to this...
This lady brought a Nintendo DS for her son, and when he opened it, it was a box of rocks and a chinese newspaper...
http://videogames.yahoo.com/events/plugged-in/florida-teen-finds-rocks-in-nintendo-ds-box/1308945
How, did the chinese know how many rocks to put in the box to make it feel like a DS. lol. But really?
And then Walmart tried to play her, but only a 20 dollar gift card? Heck no.
I wouldve owned Walmart and Nintendo.
BF called me last night, he was happy to hear I actually was moving and had an apartment...
It came at a good time because I was thinking alot of What if's...
But his call was good, I almost forgot I would have him when I moved down there.
NO HOMO.
But until I move it doesnt stop me from having some fun with a chill joint, I have absolutely nothing to lose except a little pride, but after that, he's cool, and hanging with him is good, so why not?
Why the hell not?
I have to remember my mindset is beyond my age group and normally 50 year old men try to talk to me.
But im intrigued.
So I will ride this one out because after its all said and done I wont have to look at his face everyday or OD and show up at his job, for valid reasons i create.
Looking forward its gonna be hard to move, but I know its what I gotta do.
Posted by Nel at 6:27 PM 0 comments
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Turned my swagg on
I may be a little smacked right now, yeah i am...
I really want some chicken nuggets,
this dude giving me mixed signals.
You wanna put your arm around my shoulders
but ask me do i got a boyfriend
what you mean
why do you need to know if i have a boyfriend...
im smacked.
cheesecake, lets go to cheesecake factory
mmmmm avacado eggrolls
son, im twirling right now.
he is nice,
i like it,
but still does what he wanna do
and has swagg
and is 6'5 lord have mercy!
but he brought adidas.
i dunno
he really is tryna get to know me
its cool
man i want chicken nuggets and cheesecake
chicken nugget cheesecake,
with honey mustard whipped cream,
hmmmmm...
Posted by Nel at 8:32 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
I never realized how fine you were until my buzz set in...
I think I may be allowing myself to get played...but on the other hand, I think im just thinking way to hard about it. Its not like he doesnt call me, our schedules are just complete opposites and prevent us from hanging out like we could. He has talked him way into being relevant in my life, our conversations are so good. We have gotten so far in such a sort amount of time. However, Im no hoe or nothing... but its time to move on the physical aspect, and I dont even neccessarily mean sex, I just need some attention, more than words. We have reached the speed bump, we gotta chill before anything else can happen. He is on Strike 2 though, well 1 1/2, so his words "we'll definately hang out Thursday"....dont play me. Lets see if he'll be around long enough to warrant a blog nickname.
Posted by Nel at 4:56 PM 0 comments
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Side eye of the day
Arnell walking past Kogods (Liquor store)
Dude: Miss.
Arnell keeps walking.
Dude: Ay boo, lady, baby..hold up.
Arnell stops.
Dude: Can you help me out?
Arnell gives the side eye as she currently has about two thousand dollars on her person.
Dude: I just got home from doing 18 months, i'm just tryna eat and get home on the metro. Can you help me out? Im just tryna eat.
Arnell: Im a college student im broke like you.
Dude: I respect that, you got some sexy ass lips, you got a pen so i can get your number so i can call you when i get my money right?
Arnell: Naw, you got it.
Dude you will never get your money right in this economy. Second why are you posted up at the liqour store?
Side note: Dude was fine, too bad he was a broke ex convict. Gotta have bread to keep up with me.
Posted by Nel at 6:02 PM 0 comments
Labels: Hoodrat things
Gentleman Caller
So, out of nowhere i've acquired a gentleman caller. The story behind the phrase "Gentleman caller"....so back in my Disney days when I lived in 3202 ( three two oh two) as opposed to 3202 (Thirty-two Oh two) my roomates would have random guys call on the apt phone, which was strange because no one used them unless they didnt have a cell phone, in which these guys didnt because they were all foreigners, and couldnt really speak english. Lol. I would leave messages on the fridge "Megan, you gentleman caller called". Definately was way funnier in the moment. lol. So me and this individual are on a good track, conversations are great, the come easily like ive known him for awhile. We shall see, I definately dont want to jinx it, but it doesnt really matter because im moving to florida soon. But it cant hurt to have some "spring romance" only spring lol. The only thing that bothers me is, dude doesnt have a cell phone, so he calls me from random numbers, okay, its happened before, however, this gives him the power. He dictates when we talk which kinda bothers me, but then again if it were the other way around, i doubt i would call him. I know me. Lo key the back of my mind, i gotta deal with my insecurities. I think constantly, am i sure he really saw me? Am I sure he's not gonna play me. But these are the things that have held me back so often. So im trying to turn over a new leaf. I normally try to protect myself so quick that I end up pushing people away. Im also quick to cut someone out of my life. I only regretted that decision one time. But the end up result showed me i made the right decision. And he definately wants to talk to me, and is always tryna chill, so the beginning is good, we shall see as time progresses. It also sucks that we run on different schedules, I open and he closes, and we literally work a couple blocks from eachother, but I literally leave when he gets to work. And by the time he gets off, im falling asleep, or well into wonderland. So I guess I have to make a few adjustments to my daily routine, i guess i could do that. yes, i think i could. Im excited for the future.
My boss put in her two weeks notice today.
This is both bad and good.
I had to get parts of my body waxed that im ashamed to say.
OD.
Im so used to the ridiculousness that is my job. Its sad.
Im excited to move, and start the new part of my life.
Posted by Nel at 5:46 PM 0 comments
Labels: 21, Hoodrat things, Why am I so insecure
Monday, April 6, 2009
He drives a Green Bubble....
Its hard to explain whats going through my head right now. I guess I just feel like my life isnt fufilled, like I need something more. It's time for the next big thing, I've fallen into a slump. My daily routine, has become typical. I can honestly say, I almost miss the days we would go to Rivertowne or Iverson, and just walk around and get hit on by mad dudes. Give some of them our numbers and would let them wrap us up for months at a time. That doesnt happen anymore. I must be getting older, or just in the wrong places, or as Lindsay puts it "Not head to toe in Academiks" There is absolutely no variety, even days at work are the same, Hell. Sometimes I get to limbo, but mostly hell. Im ready to move, but the leasing office is so late to get back to us, making us think negatively, but I have to keep a positive attitude. On top of it all, I dont understand this friendship, not at all, but maybe thats the way its supposed to be, so that when we see eachother, its just that much better.
I think i've outgrown the DMV as ridiculous as it sounds. I really do, its just not where im meant to be.
Posted by Nel at 8:29 PM 0 comments
Friday, April 3, 2009
April Fools
No matter how I think we grow
You always seem to let me know
It ain't
workin'
And when I try to walk away
You'd hurt yourself to make me stay
This is crazy
Mad relevant to life.
Happy Birthday to Marvin Gaye, Magic 102.3 would not let me forget his birthday was yesterday.


Way to be a creep awakening man.
Headed to Brooklyn for the weekend for a mini vacay, its Spring Break so, I gotta vacay, where did I hear mini vacay from? Good Question right?
A man in Binghampton, shot up a citizenship test, really? you couldnt at least let them finish there test? Citizenship is not easy to come by, you will since be on the cover of "O" before your request is approved.
I know right.
No update on Florida, we are just awaiting the call.
I'm so ready for the struggle, its the next step in the natural progression of life.
Posted by Nel at 5:19 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
La Vie Boheme
I came across this email I recieved 4 years ago, I dont delete emails....
My girlfriend had a boyfriend once who was a socialpath. During the time when her mother was drinking and was always passed out and cussed at her and told her she wasn't her daughter, she went into a deep depression. When she was 10 her father died so she really had no one else. She got no love and no time to relax. She began 2 cut due to her depression. This boy who's soul I would easily take and have no remorse convinced her that he cared about her but slowly he started treating her like shit. he cussed at her, hit her, and used her strictly 4 oral sex. He put her down constantly. She hit rock bottom and became bi-polar and continued to cut. One time he grabbed her head and forced her even when she said no but she always said no but did it anyway because she didn't want to lose the only peron she thought cared about her except for that one time. his friend took pictures of it once and they both ende up in trouble. She ended up looking like a slut and him like he was great. I burning hatred resides in my heart for this boy but she has asked dat i not kill him. This all happened a year ago but due to her meds and the way her mother raised her she surpresses bad expieriences. There are so many others on top of that that are hitting her all at once and once again she is going into deep depression. I love her and it has been mentally and physically affecting me. I deal with stuff like this everyday and not just from her. I need to devote all my time to helping her get through this cus like I said I love her. I am so tired Arnell, in so many ways. Im so tired everyday...everyday I want to break down and cry but I can't becus people need me. She needs me. I am no longer a good friend. I am no longer whatever anyone needs me to be for whatever reasons and im sorry for that but I hav sacrificed enuf and I kno where my priorities ly as of rite now. U been mad at me off and on again 4 whatever reason and im sorry im so horrible. im sorry for being whatever it is I am Im sorry.
It created an excuse when there was no excuse, and now that I go back and read this and realize just how riduculous this sounds. And im sure at the time I was so in awe of his sensitivity. Im a lame. Whatever. Im not even gonna put my response on here, i didnt even read it, because I know it was lame. The whole situation was lame, and to think I wanted to be friends with him again, ha! I need to leave P.G. County, there is nothing left for me here.
Posted by Nel at 7:13 PM 0 comments
Labels: I
Monday, March 16, 2009
To Sodimy, its between God and Me
I'm concerned about my future and where everyone falls in place within that future. But I need to make decisions based on me, not anyone else, because while they might be around I still have to be happy with my decision in the end. But I'm so damn scattered brained and confused I dont even know what to do with myself, its like i cant make my own decisions, What the hell is wrong with me.
I watched all 22 chapters of Trapped in the Closet today, and now I listening to the Rent Soundtrack.
I want to see Color Purple in June, who's with me.
I'm torn as to if I want to see Jennifer Hudson, between her and Robin Thicke, that concert is boo-loving...And I have no Boo. BOOOOOOOO. lol.
i didnt...
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who's dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
While wiping his chin
If my ear were a hole i could fuck it.
Posted by Nel at 9:07 PM 0 comments
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Between the Lions
I'm not happy anymore. I have no motivation to do anything, go to school, work, wake up, watch tv, eat. Its like I serve no purpose. I almost forgot I could be happy until I went to Florida. I havent been happy since I left Florida, almost a year ago. That is due to multiple things, I didnt live with my parents, I could do what I wanted. Now that im 21, I feel like im doing nothing with my life, I go to school and work, but what am I really accomplishing? Its like my life has hit pause, everything's so damn repetitive, there is no variety, everyday is the same, all my friends live in different states, im the only one stuck here with no life goals. I've given up on so much it scares me. I am currently thinking about moving to Florida, but will I be moving for the right reasons? Because its real life, its not being a CP anymore. I know that the more I think about it, the more excuses I can come up with, I need to just do it. But again I have no motivation.
Posted by Nel at 12:07 PM 0 comments
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Periods are gay. Period.
I think I may literally drive myself crazy worrying about being clingy. I'm crying every two seconds like a pyschopath, and my head is aching, I have no motivation to do anything. I literally dont want to get up out of the bed anymore. Now I approach everything with an I dont feel like it mentality. And apparently im not getting fired. I have to ability to move to Florida when i'm good and ready. Im not done being a child yet. I know its because im on my period, but some of these feelings are also valid, ive been feeling them long before now. I just want them to go away. Will someone please give me the strength. Or help me rip out my ovaries?
Posted by Nel at 7:44 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Birthdays were the best days
I love him, a good genuine platonic friendship love. We hadnt seen each other in 8 months, but it was like we were still in Disney living 2 buildings from eachother. Im happy that we got to spend as much time together as we did, because we cant see eachother that often our time is valuable. No matter how many times I go to Florida and come back saying bye to him has never gotten any easier. It still hurts it still makes me cry, I still am left to wonder when we can hang out again. As i get older i'm faced with new situations, these long distance friendships are hard. He told me I was his "female" best friend lol. As long as I always remain important enough to have a title I dont care. This sucks. But I can say I have no regrets, he knows I love him, and he's a good friend to me, just as much as I know he loves me and values our friendship. I do think we should probably talk more often but I dont really like talking on the phone *lie* we both have to work on that. I've never had to work hard to keep a friend, its worth it though.
Posted by Nel at 6:39 PM 0 comments
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday...
It's my birthday yay! Lol. No real plans. Just hanging out with my best friends. I'[m super happy I got what I wanted for my birthday. Just to hang out with BF. So what more could I ask for? Sure im broke, but whats it matter? So my latest cell phone, lived a short yet productive life. Definately was put to use. Oh well, my phones just like to leave me hanging in times of need.
Posted by Nel at 6:46 AM 0 comments
Friday, March 6, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
I've been playing myslef to say that i've got time to do things.
But I dont.
2 dayssssssssssss.
Posted by Nel at 8:15 PM 1 comments
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Rabbit, Rabbit
I once heard on Nickelodeon that if you said Rabbit Rabbit on the first of each month it will bring you good luck. That was years ago, I dunno why i still remember that. I'd like to take the time to give a shout-out to my mans Bigsmoove, celebrating that two-one. Holla. The countdown has officially begun...6 mother-F******, (freaking) days until my birthday. hoe. 4 days until Florida....reckless. I wasnt that excited about it before, but maybe because I felt like this week would never get here or i'd be in jail because of my job. So I talked to BF yesterday, I told him (again) I was going to be in Florida, he seemed excited, which makes me excited, so i'm happy. The only trick to not let work get me down until then, i'm keeping high spirits.
She's your queeeeennnn toooo beeeeee....
Posted by Nel at 2:36 PM 0 comments
Friday, February 20, 2009
Walking down the street with a soda can in my hand
First of all, they OD about the fact that Omarion was absent. Second, Really, does this sound like B2k?


Posted by Nel at 5:04 PM 0 comments
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Throwing back
Lo-key I was in love, thats why I can't let it go. A little(young) girl in love. For what reasons though? Why let yourself fall in love when in the end you get played? Like the movie said Peoples who situations work out are the exception, I am the rule. When you really love someone that feeling will never go away. You can stop being in love with them, but not loving them. I love very people, I know that internally I have very high expectations of people who are really my friends, and triple those expectations for the people I end up falling in love with. I guess due to the fact I dont fall in love left and right makes it harder to let go of those situations. I've only really been in love and a half times. Okay maybe 3/4. I bring this up because I sent throwback a text yesterday, just because I had a weak moment and really actually, wanted to hear his voice, but I didnt have the courage to get that far. So now i'm left with how i've been feeling for the past couple of months amplified because he didnt answer back my last text, a small detail to some, but to me too many possibilities. Especially because I regret even letting him know he still crosses my mind. Now im left with my thoughts, my apprehensions, my internal issues. I know that I can only open the doors of communication, I cant force them to stay open. But for some reason I feel like we should be back in contact, but I cant afford for him to play me again, I know I love him, always will, nothing will change that.
Posted by Nel at 10:33 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Your shady like the whites...(of your eyes)
Im heated:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List__Black_Academy_Award_winners_and_nominees
This is ridiculous. I mean really, and if you think they played black people, look at the list for Asians, its all in Foreign Language and Cinematography.
My job has officially played me, im done, im pretty sure im gonna be fired, but its the grounds that I will be fired under are unfair and people only look out for themselves and everyone is held on a different standard. I lose out in the equation because the district manager doesnt like me, so he wont vouch for my character, when I bent over backwards for that damn store, but I realize that once people realize there jobs arent in danger, they dont give a shit. Not worth a damn, and honestly the timing is fishy, you mean to tell me you think I stole 1500 dollars and you didnt find out for 3 months? Bullshit. This whole fiasco comes at a time when we were told that one of the supervisors had to go and the store couldnt afford 3. Really strange if i do say so myself. Best believe I wont just accept this shit, because its ridiculous, and now I hate myself for being so honest, all the money I had access too, I couldve been pocketed that shit, but no for my own personal integrity and in hopes that I wouldnt go down like every other supervisor, but in the end I guess its all corrupted. You cant trust white people and you cant trust black people in higher positions, because honestly no one gives a shit.
More fuel to keep my hopes up for my birthday, I'm going all out, I need a break, I need some time to be able to escape some things for awhile.
Honestly, I know God would never put more on me then I can bear, It's always worked out in the end, this time is a little worse but I know its for a reason, either a lesson learned or a gateway to a better situation. A reason to get my shit together and move out, to stop whining and complaining about not talking to certain persons, to just call them because there is absolutely, nothing I can lose, only gain.
And if situations dont work out the way I hope...then I'll flush out all the bad stuff at one time.
I just need a day of laughter, chilling, and hanging out. To hold onto until my birthday.
Because this current string of events is causing me to reach a serious low
point.
Posted by Nel at 9:01 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Miss Katie, I am a gangsta

P.S. Latte making may soon be out of the picture for me. I dont really think so, but you never know, people of higher power are shady individuals, and are always looking to make an example, I hope that my dedication despite being mentally drained all the time, will prosper. I work my ass behind off for that place.
With that being said, nothing will ruin my birthday. nothing at all I refuse.
I've never had a birthday where anything I need to go right, worked out. I never really did anything beyond go to dinner, so this year Im pretty much gonna do whatever I want.
As I pop some more pills to remove the pain, I leave you with this video, which is pretty much what ive been watching all day
Posted by Nel at 12:18 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
I'm emotional, and i cant let it go, I am trying to hold onto you.
Everyone always gives me the *side eye* when I tell them I dont want to have any children. "oh, you'll change your mind, your so young" There are people my age with child(ren) already. I discovered not too long ago the true reason why I dont have the desire. My childhood. No I wasnt beat, (for no reason) or deprived of anything I really needed, but mentally and emotionally, it just didnt cut it. I think about my relationship with my father and how so many people grew up without one, but what where they really missing? My father, though there physically provides no type of support, whatsoever. Though there financially. He still lets me know everyday how i cant do anything right, how im still living at home because mentally im not ready to be on my own, I dont know how to do anything, I cant think for myself, and i act too much like a "woman", a whole different topic. My argument to him my whole life, was and still is " Why doesnt bother you that no one your children, while living with you liked you?" "Why can't you just answer my questions?" Everything is always a argument, and I know how unintentionally people always act like there parents, there the models they had during there most developmental period. And while since going to florida and coming back my mother has become less of an enemy, never a friend, my parents dont try to create a union with me. Its my responsibility to create and solve my own mistakes, however, I do believe that there support instead of constant dissaproval would help. Because of this I have no motivation, to go to school, to go to work, I just want to go back to Florida as much as I can, because that's where i could be free, the whole time i was down there I dressed a hot mess, and it never dawned on me until I looked at the pictures. LOL. But since moving down there would make it real life would it still be fun? I think that Disney provides a safety net, you tend to live with fellow cast
I do think that this is where I belong, but I dont know how to make things happen. Honestly, I never really had to try hard to do anything, It always just came through. For example me and bf, I love him, all homo, lol. And I am genuinely concerned that our friendship will be non-existent if we keep going on without talking. But I dont know how to just call him and talk to him, without being lame, or acting like a girl, but I think that by me trying so hard not to be lame, Im just making it worse. I know that for my birthday the best gift, aside from someone paying for me to go to school. would be for him to come and hang out with me, so I guess I'll have to call him, and let him know, this isnt a regular day, so if it doesnt work out, im torching his apartment, going to be really upset,
members, and only befriend them, only because they are the only ones who
understand.
But now this is the end
Tell me what's the use of holding on
If we can't be friends
But it will work out, so whatever.
Posted by Nel at 7:15 PM 0 comments
Sunday, February 1, 2009
My girl
First off, My boo killed it!
Im gonna be the first person to buy a ticket to her concert.
Posted by Nel at 8:21 PM 0 comments
Friday, January 23, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Birthdays were the worst days...
It was all a dream I used to read word up Magazine...im tryna figure out why they still make this? And have this basic website, its like 3 colors
Shoutout to my girl Lilo, celebrating 20 Y.O.Holla!
Second Shoutout to the movie that has been added to my list,
Notorious.
I laughed. I cried. I went through some many emotions.
I am also officially in love with Gravy, Jamal, Big Man, Whatever.
Juicaaaaaayyyyyyy! JuicyFruit! Whaaa? I mean really... this joint is tight though.
Next thing on the agenda
Passport
A-Day, Mission One...
Posted by Nel at 2:59 PM 1 comments
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Having Fun isnt Hard, When you got a library card!
Because i'm definately lacking in the money situation.

Posted by Nel at 11:09 AM 0 comments